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I had lunch with my former roommate, Ryan.  I haven’t seen him as much as I’d like since he’s gone off to HBS.  “A lot of BS indeed,” I told him.

We were duped into an Apple Pie sunday.  We explicitly asked the waitress which dessert was better, “The Apple Pie or Birthday Cake?” Answer: “The apple pie is over the top.”  We jumped on that.  When she set down an apple pie sunday with no sign of any existing crust, we both exchanged sarcastic glares.  “You’d think she’d have explained the apple pie isn’t a pie at all, but a sunday, when we asked.”

I shared the dairy filled sunday with Ryan.  I have a thing with sharing dairy.  Ryan knows this.  “This is a big moment for us,” he joked.  It’s hard to tell where the dairy ends and the saliva begins once that spoon goes back into the bowl.  A mix of deliciousness and an attempt to overlook the “ick.”

Sort of feels like producing.  Follow me…

I’ve recently dove into my first producing endeavor with “Parker & Maggie.”  While the shooting days have been filled with laughter and I couldn’t be more excited for the final product, the stress leading up to the days and managing everyone’s schedules, budget, etc. is a total biatch.  It’s sometimes difficult to see the deliciousness of the process when swimming around all the icky factors.

It’s been a practice in patience and perseverance, very much like the rest of life.  Number one thing I’ve learned: It will happen, just not EXACTLY when I want it to happen.  A little patience goes a long way, topped with an openness to adapt.

I suppose all the enlightened beings out there felt the same on their journey towards Enlightenment.  It’ll happen, when it happens.  Until then…patience, perseverance, and remember to indulge in the deliciousness even when dealing with the ick.  The final result makes it all worth the wait, and the ick turns out not being so icky after all.

I was shoved today at the supermarket.  There I was, holding two avocados, and some woman rammed into me.  “Excuse me,” she said with an attitude,  “…is this the line?”

“No, this would be my body you just slammed into,” is what I wanted to say.  But I didn’t say anything as I nodded yes.  She took her spot in the line, behind me.  And for approximately 30 seconds I thought of all the witty things I should have said, but didn’t.

I’m glad I didn’t fire back with some smart-ass remark.  I would have felt bad afterwards.  Instead of making the situation about me and how SHE afflicted ME, I could have approached the situation with a little more compassion and seen something was afflicting this aggressive woman.

A little compassion eases a lot of pain.  What do I mean?  So often we make things about ourselves.  When someone harms us, we take pity upon ourselves instead of seeing that the people harming us are afflicted themselves.  It doesn’t justify their behavior, but it eases our response.  Ignorance, anger, and greed tend to be the poisons that lead us astray.  If we recognize other’s behaving as they are, due to an afflicted mind, all we can do is be compassionate and wish for their happiness.

By firing back with similar behavior we only open the doors for our own minds to be afflicted by such poisons.

At the end of the day, the person who shoved you in line only wants to be happy, which puts you on the same level.  We’re all the same.  It just takes some longer to achieve happiness.

When I was back in high school playing sports, I had the unfortunate habit of cursing, in the most unflattering and ungraceful way.  If I missed a three point shot, I very often found “Mother f*#cker” emerging from my sweet lips, by default.  Now, where did that start?  I’m not sure when it became habit for me to dive into fancy-free-cussing mode when missing a shot, but sure enough, the refs became aware of it, and I received a handful of warnings.

A habit has to start somewhere, and they are a biatch to break.  Once those habits are set in stone within the mind, they are there for good.  UNLESS you choose to go back in, chisel away, and restructure the workings of your mind.  It’s possible, but it requires a lot of work.

While I’ve broken the unfortunate habit of cursing when I mess up, it shows up every once in awhile when I least expect it.  Sometimes it rears its head in improvisation class when the teacher calls me out on something, and then I catch myself doing it again.  Oh f*ck!  I go from sweet to…whatever the hell that is, in less than five seconds.  I flash a smile immediately after to remind everyone I am, indeed, sweet, despite the outburst.

The physical practice of yoga, asana, can be a looked at as a microcosm of the way in which we move about life.  When a difficult pose shows up in class, how do you approach it?  Do you curse when you fall out of it?  Do you dread its approach?  Do you find yourself in the posture thinking of everything else, trying to distract yourself from the actual pose?  The way in which you approach a posture, carries into life.  Very often the response you have in a difficult posture is the response you have during difficult situations in life (only magnified).

If you find yourself in a difficult posture, why not sit with it and observe.  Don’t run from it, curse it’s existence, or be too hard on yourself.  It can only get easier.  How frustrating was it learning the alphabet when we were young? And then learning how to spell?  We forget how difficult those were to engrain in ourselves, and now they are part of our everyday existence.

If you practice joyfully, or at least attempt it, it’ll eventually become habit.  Joy will become the default mode vs. struggle.  Don’t curse it.  Invite it as a lesson, learn from it, and move forward…with a smile.

I suffered a moment of writer’s bloc and decided to google the meaning of “June,” since it’s the first of the month.

What did I find?  Various sites say it means “younger ones,” and that it’s also called the “season of the unicorn.”  I love unicorns, those mystical creatures, and recently was brought to light that the term unicorn is also a term for a pretty lesbian?  Is this a fact? I’m going with it regardless…

With the free association leap from June to Unicorns to Lesbians, my writer’s bloc was cured and I decided to write about my two favorite “lipstick” lesbians (a term my Grandma, the hippest I know, has proudly grown accustomed to using…), who tied the knot over this Memorial Day Weekend.

My cousin Steph, married her beautiful fiancé, Kim, this past Saturday in DC.  While weather looked questionable in the AM, the ceremony was blessed with sunshine and birds by 5PM.  I stood there in my harvest gold bridesmaid gown, partaking in the beautiful wedding, unsuccessfully fighting back joyful tears.

As my Bible interpreting, super conservative Grandfather walked my cousin down the aisle, I was hit by the transformation we are all capable of.  If you’d have told me my Grandfather would have even shown up to the wedding a few years ago, I’d have raised a skeptical eyebrow.   He had a novel worth of opinions about men marrying men and women marrying women.  But there he was, beaming with pride (pun intended), as he walked my cousin down the aisle.

Well into his 80s, he’s an example that you can, in fact, teach an old dog new tricks.

If Grandpa can transform and become a little more open minded after 80 plus years of stubbornness, what’s your excuse?  It seems nothing is impossible.

Congratulations Steph and Kim, your love is awe inspiring.

‘Tis the season of unicorns, and I look forward to seeing what that entails.

I can’t help but chuckle at all facebook status updates regarding the end of the world, tomorrow.  If the end of the world were indeed upon us, I would hope all facebookers would be out doing something else besides updating facebook.  But who am I to judge?  Apparently the ONE to judge will be upon us tomorrow night?

I have been out of the loop.  I didn’t realize the end of the world was plaguing a large population of people, until an improvisation group threw the reference into their sketch and it incited a huge laugh from the audience.   I went home and googled.   It wasn’t hard to find.  Articles from bible code to whether you need to pay bills since apocalypse is on its way popped up before I finished typing “world.”  Yeah, I got to “end of the w…” before google knew where I was going.

If the world were coming to an end…

It’d be happy I have:

1. Had a pretty good time.  Smiled and laughed a lot.  Yeah, there have been ups and downs, but I’d do it again.
2. Fallen in love at least once.  Maybe 2 and a half times.
3. Traveled a bit.
4. Had too many “best” friends for the word “best” to hold any significance.
5. Conquered my fear of singing in public.
6. Learned to meditate, which makes me feel as though when others are singing “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine,” I can substitute the word “fine” with “divine.”
7. Learned I’ll never be able to please everyone, I’ll occasionally offend someone, and at times be misunderstood.  AND that’s okay.
8. Learned the proper way to cook risotto.  Thanks Harris.
9. Already stared death in the face, so the sting of the apocalypse hurts a bit less.

10. Read the Bible, because if all this mumbo jumbo holds any truth, at least I have that redeeming accomplishment going for me.

11. Asked for forgiveness, usually moments after I have sinned.  I have guilt issues and like to talk about things NOW.  Ask any of my         exes.

12. Learned to breathe and learned to cry.  While stoic worked for me during my late teens and early twenties, I’d much rather feel               more, than be numb.

13. Learned to speak my truth.  Still a struggle, but I’ve come a long way.

14. Read a lot of books.  My opinions are of my own analysis based on trial, error, and experience.

15. Loved a lot.  I see the best in people, even when they piss me the hell off.

16. Learned to forgive.  Still learning how to forget.

17. Found my pair of sassy pants and the courage to be bold when necessary.

18. Let go of fear of failure.  Sure it creeps in every now and again, but it’s no longer haunting.

19. Found yoga.

20. Fully appreciated my family, especially my parents, and realized how blessed I am.

I asked two people about the end of the world.  One was my astrological reader friend/co-author, and one was my yoga teacher.

Their responses:

“It’s just all nonsense.  Don’t worry about it.  Just go out and celebrate life.”

“I don’t think much about it [end of the world]. You?”

I couldn’t help but find this amusing and share.

While I don’t think it’s the end, it’s nice to look at all that makes life all the more worth living.

Go have a good day.  And check out my guest blog “Shake Free from Your Ego” for the fabulous Shelly Adelle’s blog.

I launched my fundraising attempt on KICKSTARTER for the web series I wrote and am currently in pre production for.  If you feel inclined, check it out (click on the link), contribute some money, and pass it along.  Why?

Because once the web series is shot, it will make you laugh, and laughter is a good thing.

In yoga class a few weeks back, the teacher mentioned the power of music.  If you’re in a bad mood, music can bring you back to a happy place, and if you are heart broken, music can help heighten those dramatic floor-crying moments.  Music has the power to shift the mentality of those listening, heighten the present moment, or launch you into a totally different space.

With that said, what music are you playing?  I’m NOT talking about the music you listen to on your IPOD.  I’m talking about the music your SELF plays.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, look around.  Look at your friends, look at the people you hang around, look at the activities you find yourself participating in.  Observe the people around you, and the effect you have upon them (AND the effect they have upon YOU).  You’ll find a pretty good indication of the tune your soul sings.

Are you in tune with happiness? Do you laugh a lot and pass the laughter along?  Check out this article about the benefits of laughter.

Yes, I’m plugging my web series.  But I’m also making a point.  Surround yourself with those who make you smile and laugh and sing the type of songs you’d like to sing along to.  Surround yourself with those who support you and encourage you to pursue your dream (thank you Kate and Cristal for all your support).  Find those who sing the tune you want to dance to, otherwise you’ll find yourself constantly out of tune.

Live your life with happiness and laughter.  You’ll create a song worth listening all the way through.

Wise words from Mr. Charles Parker Newton: “Live Your life:”

Liveyourlife

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I took an unpleasant yoga class yesterday afternoon.  The first class I haven’t enjoyed in a long time.  Why? The teacher was pushing A LOT of spirituality, and talking way more than leading the class through an hour and a half of Vinyasa sequencing.  To throw salt in the wound, he was unnecessarily using fancy words, without explanation.  He jumped into advanced breathing techniques and Kriyas while a handful of students walked out of his classroom, and remainders sat around wondering when they were going to stand at the front of their mat and start moving.

Now I love me some spirituality, but I don’t like it hurled at me.

I remember my yoga teacher telling me how he walked out of a spiritual lecture once.  It was a giant auditorium, so I’m sure no one noticed besides his surrounding friends.  But they were shocked.  Apparently, some “master” was speaking.

The word “master” may entail someone is, in fact, a master of something.  However, that doesn’t mean they have the power to communicate all answers to everyone.  Spiritual teachers can point in a direction and carefully choose words to articulate their thoughts.  But students have to find teachers that point and speak in a language that resonates with their self.  There are a lot of “masters” out there, but it’s your own responsibility to stay open to finding someone who jives with you.

It carries into all areas of life.  Find those who jive with your true self.

I asked my teacher why he walked out, and he said something along the lines of “…already drinking from one well, and wanting to get to the bottom of that one…” before finding another well of information.  There are a lot of wells.  I was one of those people who danced around every spiritual belief.  I’ve read everything from the Bible to Black Magic, to Esoteric texts about ancient religions and groups, across the entire Hindu spectrum.  I even found myself in Hebrew class for a short stint of time, because I had it in my head I wanted to read the Bible in its original form.

That didn’t last long.

It’s a matter of follow through.  Find something that resonates with you, and follow through to the end.  Dabbling in various religions is great because it keeps you open minded.  But after some dabbling, pick one, for at least some time.  It’s impossible to master the library of knowledge for all of them.  Mixing too many spiritual texts, beliefs, instructions, etc. is like mixing alcohols.  It will give you a headache.  You’ll have a spiritual hangover and be left disoriented, spinning in circles, not knowing which direction to step forward towards.

Perhaps that’s why I didn’t enjoy class yesterday?  He was saying a lot that contradicted the practice I’ve thrown myself into.  I’ve been practicing, experiencing, and liking the results.  Why would I start from scratch again, from a different perspective spouted from some random dude teaching a class I stumbled into?

Follow through, in all facets of life.  No one hit a homerun without the follow through of the bat.

When I was a child, Easter marked the day of Easter egg hunting and the Bunny Rabbit.   I was afraid of ghosts growing up, yet I wasn’t afraid of a giant bunny?

My Grandma once put money in Easter eggs for her grandchildren to find.  My brother found the money, threw the egg, and was pissed it wasn’t filled with candy.  Being two years older and wiser, I scrambled behind him and collected his tossed money.  Finder’s keepers….

It’s the end of Lent.  I didn’t participate in 40 days of fasting, prayer, or penance.  But lets face it, I was raised Catholic, I suffer from guilt, and I mentally partake in penance on a daily basis.  The root of the word meaning “…desire to be forgiven,” according to Wikipedia.

I find myself wanting to be forgiven often.  Even for things that don’t really call for such guilt.  When I was in third grade I came home and confessed to my mom I had stuck my tongue out at the teacher.  “WHAT did she say Jenna???”  I said, “She didn’t see me.”  “What do you mean she didn’t see you?”

My answer: “I did it mentally.”

Oh the ridiculous guilt…

What is that? Who determines right and wrong?  Yes, there are clearly things that are wrong, such as causing another pain.  From a yoga perspective, we are all the same.  This should spark unconditional love and forgiveness even to the sinners who know not what they do.

Let go of judgment of self and others, embrace oneness, and have faith.  The light in yourself reflects the light in others and leads to the path your feet were meant to prance.

Whichever religion you believe in, practice, consider, or ignore, we all have the capacity to forgive and celebrate miracles and stories.

Happy Easter.

I met with Eric Weiner, founder/video/editor of The Wild Honey Pie (The Wild Honey Pie), about possibly jumping on board to work on my web series as Music Supervisor.

Obviously, I’ve been sorting through all the music on his site.  So much good stuff, it’s been a detriment to my productivity.  Just kidding.  But seriously, throw on some giant headphones and listen.

Music has been at the forefront of my mind these past two weeks, since the theme at the yoga studio I practice at, is “Music.”  You can read my guest post for the fabulous Shelley Adelle about music and breath here: POST.

What does music reveal? Different songs resonate with different people, and the sound reveals a world of information regarding its source.

In the nonjudgmental yoga room, I find myself judging the teacher based on his or her music selection.  I’m only 25 percent serious.  But that 25 percent will weigh in when I’m looking on the schedule and deciding which class to take.

I remember my first no-music-yoga-class.  I was pissed.  “He’s not turning on music!”  NOW he’s my favorite teacher and I’ll fly across country to study with him.  But it took a long time to see my breath as the music that carries me through class.   Good music can offer a pleasant backdrop to your own breath, but it shouldn’t be a distraction.

I love great music, but it can’t be my ticket out of an uncomfortable asana and into vacation-daydream-land. Each posture brings about different feelings, emotions, mental activity, and such.  Instead of tuning out of your mental and physical reaction, tune in.  If the music takes you away from the practice, you aren’t moving closer to one’s self.  The only way to let go of discomfort, emotion, and mental clutter, is to face it, head on, and then eventually let it go.  You’ll see it pass by like a moving cloud.

With that said, via The Wild Honey Pie, I stumbled upon Coma Cinema’s “I Wanna Be Adored,” and it’s found its way on to my playlist.   Yes, I’m practicing yoga to a song titled “I Wanna Be Adored.” And don’t you forget it.

COMA CINEMA RELEASES NEW LP (AND IT’S GREAT)

The idea of “death” has come up again and again over the past few weeks, and If you read my post “Ever man dies…” you know the idea, concept, curse (whatever you’d like to call it) has been orbiting my mind.

J.M. Barrie said, “To die will be an awfully big adventure.” I like calling it an “adventure.”  It is an adventure, isn’t it?  Any time we step into the unknown, it’s an adventure.  Perhaps death is one of the only adventures that comes and finds us?  But does it really?  The reality is, none of us know WHAT the reality IS.   We don’t know if there’s a plan, we don’t know what happens next, and without the effort of deep self introspection and awareness, most will never know why we are where we are today.

Death is one of those subjects, people RUN from.  I have friends who refuse to talk about it, as if the man in the dark robe were to come and take their soul at the utterance.

But I’m going to talk about it.  When we address something, acknowledge the fear, it makes it easier to let go.

During my colonic (yeah, I said it), I was chatting with the colonic lady about “death.”  She has recently lost her Mother, so it’s a subject that’s been orbiting her mental space as well.  She said her Mom knew it was coming.  I found comfort in this statement.  Something about the idea of knowing when the grim reaper’s coming eased something within me.  Anticipation is always worse than the actually reality of something we dread.  If death comes, and I know it’s coming, it takes the hide-and-seek anxiety out of the equation.

In reality (yes, I’m referencing the reality we know little about), we die a little every day, don’t we?  We shed bad habits, gain new ones, quit jobs, find knew ones, take new turns in life, etc.  We shed our “old self” and become a “new self,” which is in itself a cycle of birth and death and rebirth.

At the end of the conversation, my colonic lady said, “I dunno…” (in her British accent), “…Maybe it’s just one of those things.  When we’re born, we shed the womb, and we don’t remember the trauma of that, in my opinion.  We just pop out.  Like, what’s next?  Maybe Death is like that.  Well okay, what’s next?”

Maybe it is an adventure.  It’s a burden that plague’s us all: our approaching end.  But it may not be an end at all.  We shouldn’t dread it, because it’s just another example of not living in the present.  We are here now, for whatever reason.  If we can face the FACE of the incredible unknown, it should strip us of all fear, insecurity, ego, and such that hold us back in this LIFE.

J.M. Barrie also said: “To live will be a great adventure.”

Let us all be more like Peter Pan, and take flight.