Costume Hunting

Searching for a Halloween costume seemed an ideal time to finally begin this blog.  There’s something about finding a costume that highlights a personality.  We tend to hang on to identity as if it were a permanent thing, something we can grab.  But, it’s not.  It’s a continuously changing thing as we find new friends, share new experiences, and come up against new challenges the Universe presents.  Some of my friends have made costume suggestions, and I’ve found myself resisting those suggestions as if that costume just “wasn’t me.”  But I’ve been everything from a leprechaun to cupid to a witch for Halloween, so I’ve taken a moment to step back and observe this resistance and chuckle at myself.  As an actress and writer bringing to life character x, and character y, I have a knack at seeing personalities as a mere reflection of past memories and habits that can be reconditioned into new personalities with new habits and memories.  Even after being able to identify this, I still struggle with letting go of trying to hold on to an “idea” of myself.  I have an over active imagination at times, but this Halloween season, I’ve found myself unable to imagine myself as say, “Peter Pan.”  Although, I like that idea, so maybe I’ll be that for Halloween.  Or perhaps I’ll go ahead and dress myself up in something that challenges the idea of this personality I seem to be trying to hold on to.  It’s good to shake up that sense of self.  It’s forever changing and forever capable of changing for the better.

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