I found myself hustling to the gym today when a painting of a Tarot Lady surrounded by a moon, stars, and crystal ball totally diverted my attention. I stood on the street corner swaying back and forth weighing the options between gym and card reading. Deciding it would make a good post, I went for the card reading. Now, I don’t think a Tarot Reading is going to answer all my questions. But who doesn’t want a tidbit-o-info from someone who “promises” they can provide it? Tarot readings feel like life’s (for a believer) Cliff Notes. You know? Basic summary and can get your around class discussion without having read the book, or investigated your own life.
I walked through the doors and the lady explained the price breakdown. “Half a deck is 35 bucks?” I asked. “Some people only want to hear half the story,” she answered. “And most people don’t want to pay the full 70.” Uh huh. Expecting a load of bullshit word vomit to spew forth from her mouth, I willingly sat down to listen. “Pick one.” I pointed to the furthest pile. “Now make two wishes.” That was easy. I silently verbalized something having to do with career and love (cliché…deal with it). I wasn’t about to divulge my wishes to the tarot lady for fear of jinxing them.
She chuckled to herself, which instantly pissed me off a little. “You are very stubborn,” she said. This pissed me off a little more. She pointed to a card adorned with a heart filled with daggers. “You’ve been hurt with love more than you care to admit.” I nodded, but who hasn’t? It didn’t stop me from relishing in the “woe is me” moment. She told me there were two loves or two love interests that kept coming up. One was in my past and one was in my present and Ms. Tarot Lady told me I had to stop trying to compare the feelings of the past with the feelings of the present or I’ll never be able to move forward into the future. Well, crap! I hold on to the memories of the past tightly, making it difficult to move forward. Whether or not the reading was a load of BS or not doesn’t diminish the necessary reminder to move forward and out of the past (something I needed to hear today in particular). “Open your heart and your head and welcome this new person for who they are.” Then she continued on, and in the most comforting manner told me my love life was cursed. Awesome. It would take 9 days, maybe 9 months, maybe 9 years to cleanse myself of this curse. We didn’t get to the significance of the number 9, but she told me she could help me burn some candles and incense. Or I have the option of a lot of meditation and crystal baths. The curse is apparently the result of me dabbling with a Ouija board when I was little or perhaps my experimenting with Tarot Cards a few years back. “You opened the portals.” So yeah, I’m going to have nightmares for a month wondering what portals I opened. Ms. Tarot Lady told me to wrap my Tarot Cards and my book of magic in a black cloth and chuck them. Get them out of my room and rid myself of the negative energy. Now, I don’t know where I stand in terms of the legitimacy of the reading, but I came right home and chucked the magic book and tarot cards. Let’s see if the curse is lifted.
As for my career, she told me to focus. “Focus on one thing!” “But I am passionate about so many things!” I argued back. Yes, argued with Ms. Tarot Lady. She nodded and answered, “Focus. I’m not worried about your career. You are capable of great things and the money is coming and it’s coming fast. I’m worried about your love life. Call me if you need spiritual cleanse help so you can open yourself to love.”
So…I need to focus, as if I didn’t know that was an issue already. And I need to sage the sh*t out of my aura and clear myself of some love demon.