Pissed Off and Better From It

Matthew L.’s class at the downtown Jivamukti center has quickly become my favorite yoga class to attend.  He’s hilarious.  Although I’m not sure I make the best ‘funny judge’.  My ex used to refer to me as a ‘laughter slut,’ because I’m an easy laugh.  But there are always other people laughing in the class, not just my easy laughing self.

I was on the phone with my Mom on the way to class.  She was so generously offering input on my newfound blog.   She thought my last post was a little hard to follow, and maybe she’s right, but it’s much easier to take the defensive stance, ESPECIALLY when the critique comes from a parent.  During his opening discourse, Matthew L. went into the idea of finding a guru, someone who can confront the parts of you that are blocked and need confrontation.  These teachers see us in the light of our true potential, yet we justify staying in our small, maybe miserable, unripe states when we are confronted with something that rattles the ‘idea’ we have of our self.   Why not see ourselves in the light of our true potential?  So perhaps I can call my Mom my guru for the day, for challenging my writing skills, pissing me off, and forcing me to confront whatever that is.  Matthew continued with, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”  I laughed.  How appropriate this morning.

I’ve been making a conscious effort to look at every challenge as an opportunity for growth.  It makes challenges more bearable, and it forces me to investigate my reactions, responses, and find where the lesson lies.  It’s a challenge to have someone call you out on your bullshit and have to step back and admit it may, in fact be just bullshit, or in my case, ‘hard to follow.’  Matt called a guru someone who will tell you, “You have something in your teeth.”  When it’s still there, “it’s still there.”  And still, after aggressive picking, “Dude, you should really go to the bathroom and look in the mirror.  It’s still there.”  Those are the friends I really appreciate, and if you know me well, I’m always asking if there is something in my teeth.  Thank you Dani Nelson for extending your hand last night, without hesitation, to pick out the piece of pizza I couldn’t get myself.  Now that, is a true friend.

After class I introduced myself to Matthew and asked if he’d mind me writing about him.  He so kindly gave me permission to steal his material and claim it as my own.  But I like to give credit where it’s deserved and I don’t like writing about people unless I have their permission.  Unless you’ve pissed me off.  You know who you are.  I’m like 75 percent kidding, totally being obnoxious, and obviously not yet an enlightening being.  But I’m persevering…

And just for the record, because I know you’re my number one reader Mom, you’ve been a personal guru more than just today.  You’re words “Righty tighty, lefty loosey,” and “You’ll never make everyone happy,” are personal mantras that ring daily through my mind when I’m dealing with faucets, or feel as though I disappointed.

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