Army of Assholes

Today I enjoyed a beautiful Saturday morning spent in my favorite yoga class. Matthew L. returned back to the idea of a Guru being someone who will push your buttons. They will poke you. Now, I’m not talking facebook “poke,” which is a personal pet peeve of mine. A Guru will poke, and poke again, poking at your areas that need to be challenged. May life present us with the teachers and challenges that will remove us from our blocks…

I work at a restaurant a few nights a week, and last night it felt as if our perimeter was invaded by an army of assholes. It was four hours of people smacking up against me, challenging me, and forcing me to go into the bathroom, scream a little, and then step back for a moment of reflection. Okay, there’s a table of 12 who’s pissed about an abundance of things I cannot control. I can return attitude with attitude, or I can maintain composure, see the situation for what it is, and not get lost in the chaos. I can do my job the best I can, without having to justify myself or prove anything to the disgruntled patrons. I tried to step back and ask myself, “why am I not feeling ‘flowy’ right now?” From there I can return to my numero uno goal in life: to move about freely with an ‘unafflicted’ mind. From this perspective, the night was no longer a shitty night at work, but an opportunity for growth as some light was shed on a few personal blocks.

A lot of blocks come from rationalizing bad behavior, and resisting change because it challenges our comfort zone.

Asana practice gets the body to align to change. As Will told me, “You find solidarity within the movement. That’s the constant, change.” And as Matt said today, “When the practice gets hard, breathe harder. Breathe through it with the will power you use when you NEED to go to the bathroom and there’s not one in sight.” If you can breathe through the physical practice, you can carry that over into life, breathing through the challenges life presents, and growing from there.

When life presents an army of assholes, take a step back and ask yourself if you are returning asshole with asshole, or facing asshole with a smile. Okay, maybe not a smile, but there’s no need to return bad behavior with bad behavior. I know I’m superb at rationalizing passive aggressive retaliation, but half asshole is the same as full asshole. Keep it simple, don’t be an asshole.

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