It took me a long time to call myself a writer. I don’t like labels. Took me an even longer time to identify with any part of the sexuality spectrum for the same reason.
I’m in pre production for my feature LEZ BOMB, which I started writing over three years ago and just Friday I finally had my protagonist say “I’m gay.”
While I don’t like labels, I must admit I’ve come to appreciate the focus that comes with the specificity of labels. I’ve always resisted labels and structure, because they felt limiting. Once my yoga teacher asked me what it is I want. “I want to be able to fly and do the impossible.” His response: “Well, both entail limitless potential.” Our conversation brought me right back to him telling me to do my Sadhanna, which requires specific poses, breathing techniques, etc. done every day. I was right back to the structure I wanted to break free from. However, once I dedicated myself to repeating the same poses, over and over, I found that because of the routine of it, it forced me to dive into each pose, every day, from a different space. Approaching a pose over and over again, and figuring out how to utilize the structure of the body within the structure of the poses, forces creativity. Within the rigid structure, there’s a world of creative freedom.
The same principle applies to screenwriting. I resisted the formula of screenwriting books for a long time. I just wanted to write and let the magic happen. With the lack of structure, my writing had a lot of tangents. My scripts moved in no particular direction because they moved in every direction. But once I allowed structure to enter my process, that’s when the magic happened. Just a little structure and straight lines bounding my creativity helped focus the energy, and then within that bound space, there was far more freedom to play.
…Bringing me right back to sexuality and relationships. Asking the question: “Who am I attracted to?” “Who do I want to be with?” Being specific, honest, and direct with one’s self opens the door to boundless opportunity because it’s clear and specific. A pair of binoculars will allow for a breathtaking view at whatever landscape’s out in front of you, but focusing on the particular details of that landscape (a tree, a bird, etc.) will allow for the landscape to come alive in a far more rich way. And going further and further within that detail will unlock a world of potential and awe.
Being specific doesn’t bound you from infinite possibilities. There’s infinite possibilities for you to discover within the focal point.